Oh Dear….The Big 40 is here!

So today i  turned 40…the big 40…forteeee! I'm not sure yet how i feel about that! In the past few months leading up to this Birthday i have found myself glancing back over years gone past, choices and decisions made and how these have led to where i am today…made me the woman i am today…on this Birthday milestone.

Sometimes i look at Miss Teen and i wonder how she can possibly be entering her final year of schooling…about to embark on university study and independence….it doesn't feel so long ago that i was waving goodbye to my own senior school days and friends. It was the 80's..a heady time of great fashion and even better rock ballads…..i may or may not be joking…i know at least 1 person reading this will be a child of the 80's and possibly understand and agree with me!!!

So rather than become maudlin at turning 40 i have decided i need to celebrate…to remember…to acknowledge this privilege of reaching the big 40.

Indulge me as i reflect upon a few things i now realise upon reaching this fabulous milestone…..

I'm not loving the physical reflection in the mirror at the moment (my body doesn't just seem to be bouncing back after he twins!) but i am working on it and although weight issues have been a problem of varying degrees all through my life….i am determined to keep fighting my inner demons and achieve the body i will be comfortable with…not skinny, just healthy. 

I have 3 children that i am so proud of and am so grateful that they came into my life. I'm so pleased i was finally able to give Miss Teen siblings!

I am proud of myself for having the courage to go back to more university study and change careers when it actually didn't seem like the ‘smart' thing to do at the time.

I have worked my way through postnatal depression twice and come to the surface both times…a little scarred but still strong. I am stronger than i think…i try to remember that now.

I've realised how special it is to be able to reach 40 and be confident in the choices i have made. there have been mistakes…but there were good choices too.

After always wanting to write…something…anything….since leaving school…in the past year i have finally realised that goal by starting this little blog.

I now accept it is ok for one of my favourite activities to be curling up on the lounge with my partner and a good bottle of red watching a movie together after the kids are in bed. It's ok that we don't get out much at this time in life with our family….it's not necessary to warm the heart….i partied in my 20's! I'm not actually missing out on fun…just redefining it!

I now know how special it is to have a loving partner who is a fantastic Daddy to his girls in my life…..after being a single parent for a long time in my earlier years i acknowledge the strength and tears it took to get through everyday….but i appreciate so much what i have now…and the second chance i was given.

I know i am very blessed to be given the opportunity to parent twins….turning back the clock to being a parent to young children again has been a steep learning curve and one which i thought perhaps i was too old for….but i have proven myself wrong. I can do it, i am doing it, i still have parenting lessons to learn.

Watching my teen i am so grateful of the opportunities i have had to learn life lessons and acquire knowledge…some of which i can now pass onto her but realising she will need to follow her own path soon as we all do. I am learning how to let go…a little!

I've learnt that i can be brave enough to speak in front of large crowds, tackle projects i thought were too hard and achieve promotions in a field i only entered later in life. It's never to late in life to do something for yourself….even if others tell you you are being selfish.

I've learnt that children always have something to teach me…no matter how old or how wise i think i am!

I have always had an irrational fear of needles but i conquered this to go through IVF. Don't want to do it again though 😉

I am so very thankful to have a wonderful home and space to grow in at this time in our life. To be able to provide as i couldn't do 20 years ago. To indulge the homemaker side of me that was squashed many years ago!

I am so happy i got to experience the joy of finally being a stay at home Mum….of having more patience now to cope with this!!

I'm thankful for the friends i have made over the years and the experiences i will always cherish.

I'm thankful i still have my sense of humour….

Thanks so much to all those that follow and read and take the time to comment in this little space of mine…you have truly helped me to realise one of my dreams…thank you x

Have you reached any milestones recently that helped you to reflect and remember?

Warm Wishes
Jode x